Thursday, December 11, 2008


The sugarplums & ferries have no longer befriended me.
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It disheartens me to think that I once was convinced, "I'm artsy only when I'm high."

The creativity ran through my veins like a flood in a desert after taking a few hits of a drug that's illegal to most. As my eyes would glaze over, I felt my mind alter to a place of inventive liberty. There was some sense of self-determination; an addicting looseness and lack of heed. The world around me held not a substance comparable to the things my mind reflected. My outlook, attitude and judgement were well associated with being blatantly foolish. With the thought of being brazen in seemingly mistaken areas, I started to question my purpose and if I were fulfilling the reason/s of which I had been created.

Many question God's being. I believe we all come to a point in life where we consider what we regard as truth. We explore to deem touchable, concrete, and physical evidence that something so far fetched could possibly be real, right, and applicable to our everyday lives.

Personally, I've found, it's not just something to believe in. It's something to live for.

I felt initiating my newfound blog interest with personal and private thoughts just might be a good kick off for this fresh and 'fearless' time in my life

The sugarplums & ferries have no longer befriended me, but by the grace of God, I'm sober.


3 comments:

BRANDI FITZPATRICK said...

can't wait to read more.

heyjena said...

WOW. you have so much to live for, I'm glad you made it through this. Your strength is incredible.<3

bsbwavestarter21 said...

I know you don't know me, but after reading your stuff on myspace and such, I have really come to appreciate your creativity and insight into life. I was really excited to hear that you had a blog. I really respect how you take a second to delve deeper into what everyone else just accepts. This blog is no exception. I respect you tenfold for talking openly about your problems. It's refreshing to think that even someone as talented and seemingly down-to-earth as you faces challenges and overcomes them, too. It's interesting that you brought up the concept of truth in this post. Truth, for real, I don't think is something that can be fully grasped while under the influence, because truth IS. I don't think truth can exist on its own while one is running away from who one IS sober. I think the part that sucks is that, truth has always been painted positively...honest, pure, open, just, honorable, etc., but the real truth is, sometimes the truth is painful, but avoiding the troubling truth only means putting off a better one.

Okay, that was really long. Sorry if I bored you. It's probably really weird that some stranger is reading your blog and commenting in length. Thank you, though, for getting me to really examine a concept. Writing is so therapeutic. Keep it up!